Why is Gay Marriage a Big Deal?

Speaking solely for myself, I don’t want to get married.  I’ve been single for most of my life and fully plan to live the rest of my life in the same way – but – the majority of my friends, gay and straight are couples.  We all go about our daily lives working, paying taxes, running errands, socializing, doing our chores, etc.  The lives of the gay couples are exactly like the lives of the straight couples (except for the hatred and discrimination forced upon us).

So why is gay marriage a big deal when we live our lives as normally as possible and most of us are content?

It’s not about the wedding day.  Everyone knows that once the ‘big show’ is over, life goes back to normal.  We continue to work, pay taxes, run errands, etc.  It’s actually about the automatic protections and benefits afforded to married heterosexual couples that gay couples aren't.  We pay taxes, so why aren’t we protected and why don't we get the same benefits from the government?  Simple hatred, discrimination, hypocritical religious influence, and small mindedness. 

This so-called “Protection of the institution and sanctity of marriage” is utter bullshit.  If the churches were so concerned about the institution of marriage, why don’t they spend their trillions of dollars (of tax-free money) fighting over heterosexual adultery and divorce?  If they had any real interest in a child they’d fight for gay marriage to legally protect the children of gay couples when tragedy or illness occurs.

And where is the separation between church and state?  Marriage is a legal contract, the church wedding is the ‘show’.  If the churches want to ban gay marriage in their buildings, that’s fine.  No one needs the church, it’s the piece of paper from the government that’s important, and what we’re fighting for.  Why does religion influence our governmental laws and legislation?  Because of right-wing nuts like George W. Bush who let them, and the frightened masses, influenced by the hatred preached from the pulpit.

There are 1138 legal rights and benefits handed to married heterosexual couples that gay couples are not entitled to.  A short list of them includes:

·          Status as next-of-kin for hospital visits and medical decisions

·          Joint insurance for home, health and auto

·          Immigration and residency for partners from other countries

·          Automatic inheritance in the absence of a will.  Even with a will, the surviving partner must pay inheritance taxes, where a heterosexual spouse doesn't.

·          Joint parenting,  Joint adoption

·          Joint foster care, custody & visitation including non-biological parents

·          Joint leases with automatic renewal rights in the event one partner dies or vacates

·          Inheritance of jointly owned real and personal property through the right of survivorship

·          Survivor Benefits such as Annuities, Social Security, Pension Plans, Medicare

·          Exemptions to property tax increases upon the death of a partner who co-owns a home

·          Spousal discounts on medical care, education and home loans

·          Joint filing of tax returns

·          Wrongful death benefits for a surviving partner and children

·          Bereavement or sick leave to care for a partner or child

·          Funeral decision making power for deceased partners

·          Crime victim’s recovery benefits

·          Judicial protections and evidentiary immunity (gays can be forced to testify against their partners, heterosexuals can't).

·          Mandatory economic privileges and benefits from employers

·          Retirement Savings - married spouses can roll 401(k) funds into an IRA without paying taxes while gays pay up to 70% in taxes & penalties even when claimed as a beneficiary.

·          Home protection - Laws protect married seniors from being forced to sell homes to pay for high medical or nursing home bills while gays & lesbians have no protection.

·          Domestic violence protection orders

·          Divorce protections such as community property and child support

·          Joint filing of customs claims when traveling

If you want the full list, click here.

I’ve personally witnessed the parents of a gay men who died (who had no use for their sons when they were alive) go into the home shared by that man and his partner and take every last item they wanted, including the house and car, because the surviving gay partner had no legal benefit of inheritance in the absence of a will, and little proof as to who-bought-what.   I’ve known parents who decided whether to bury or cremate their son regardless of the wishes of their son or surviving partner.  I’ve seen grandparents take a child from a surviving gay partner, even though the gay partners were the only parents those children ever knew.  I've seen gay partners denied hospital visitation because they weren't 'family'.

It’s disgusting and shameful that taxpaying citizens, due to the sole reason that they are gay, are treated as though they don’t count in our society.  We can't give blood (sorry Katrina and War victims!).  We can be kicked out of the military without pension after a long career - just days before retirement (if you don't think they'd stoop to that, read this).  People want to actually change the US constitution, which was based on the idea that all people are treated equally, to legally discriminate against gay people.  That, my friends, is true hatred.